Three weeks have passed since I once again packed my bags and got on an aeroplane at Heathrow airport ready for another year long adventure. This time heading to Mérida, Yucatán in Mexico. However, in true Sleath style, I opted to arrive as close to my training date as possible and went via Dallas, Texas, a home away from home. I am lucky enough to have family here and so decided that it might be nice to chill out and adjust to the time difference in the comfort of my Aunt and Uncle’s suburban bungalow before throwing myself into the heat and crazy timetable that would be my life in Mérida.
I’m still a cheapskate so, unable to fly directly, I had to stop first in Detroit before connecting down to Dallas Fort Worth. However, I really can’t complain as my 7 hour flight to Detroit consisted of epic Virgin food, great films (the new Jungle Book is awesome) and good company. Yet even more entertaining was the security at customs on arrival in Detroit airport. Read the following as if Whoopi Goldberg were speaking to Mr Bean and you get an idea of what I witnessed walking through Detroit security:
- Sir, you cannot take your mobile phone through security in your pocket
- Sir, you need to take your mobile phone out of your pocket
- Sir, come back here please
- Sir, you cannot go through there
- Sir, put your mobile phone in the tray
- Sir, you need to put your mobile in the tray
- Have you never been through airport security before sir?
- Sir, you need to put your phone in here
- Thank you sir ya’ll have a nice flight now
Turns out 95% of people who fly to Detroit are not staying in Detroit. And so, after the second (shorter) leg of my journey I arrived safely in Dallas. In a crazy 5 minute episode on my first afternoon stateside I found myself viciously preyed upon by one extremely thirsty mosquito. He bit me 12 times the little demon. It would seem that mosquito repellent will soon be my closest ally. It has definitely woken me up to presence of mosquitos and I shall be vigilant from now on. So much so that I have written a poem:
Nobody likes you little mosquito, leave me in peace to drink my mojito
It did have worse language in it but then I remembered that I signed my grandparents up to follow my blog so I had to keep it clean. Use your imagination.
A highlight of my mini US holiday was the 7 hour road trip that my Uncle and I embarked on simply so I could cross off another state on my list. This actually resulted in the crossing of 3 state lines and hitting both Arkansas and Louisiana. Boy did I see the sights of Arkansas – it mostly consisted of a hunt for gas as we were so distracted trying to take photos of the ‘welcome to Arkansas’ sign that we failed to notice that we were in dire need of fuel. Turns out there are not a lot of places to stop for gas on the highway in western Arkansas. We did stumble across Dodderidge, population zero.
Louisiana had a bit more life and we stopped for blizzard ice cream before heading back towards Dallas Fort Worth. The picture above shows the difference in size between the extra small cup of ice cream and the small. I dread to think how big the large would have been.
The whole trip was highly educational; I learnt all about how the trees grow taller as you go east (Dallas trees are positively stubby in comparison), one can drive at 14 if you live so far out in the sticks that you’re miles away from school, it is not illegal in Texas to be on the phone while driving unless you are in a school zone, Tennessee drivers drive fast, a lorry is called a truck and is bigger than any lorry in England, and finally, in England you never live far away from anything, ever.
Thus, it was also the first time that I have really acknowledged how vast the US can be. I was invited to make a trip out to where a family friend has been building a house for the past few years on a plot of land literally in the middle of nowhere. It’s so remote that you don’t see people or cars for miles and the only sounds are that of nature quietly reminding you that you are not really alone and are in fact surrounded by bugs (mainly ants) at all times. For example, I managed to step in a fire ants’ nest. Infer what you will from the name. Aside from this minor hiccup it was wonderful to see the house being built entirely from scratch in a scene that looks like it’s been taken out of an American period film. There was even a remote swing by a small lake close to the house which just adds to the Gone With the Wind/The Patriot/Cold Mountain theme.
Young farmer falls in love with beautiful maiden whilst having to fight in American Civil War whilst also protecting his poverty stricken family whilst also working shirtless in the hot sun. That sort of thing.
I digress.
So, 3 days, 13 mosquito bites (from being naïve), a burn on my arm (from taking shortbread out of the oven) and many fire ant bites (from walking through the bush in sandals) later and I was ready for Mexico. It’s amazing what can be achieved in a short space of time.
On a final fun note, the security guy at Dallas Fort Worth airport was playing a dangerous game of ‘guess where passengers are travelling to’. He confidently asked some people behind me if they were heading to Dubai due to their attire and although he was right he could have easily caused a bit of an upset there…
He looked me up and down and asked me if I was heading to Hawaii which I took as a compliment but also a marvellous idea. Maybe that’s where I’ll head next. Post Mexico of course.
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